That magic number 21...

Welllll slap mme silly and call me silly!! Arhhh that doesnt make sense at all!! LOL....with 21days to go (3weeks) until I step on stage for the first time as a figure athlete.....I'M NOT MAKING MUCH SENSE AT ALL CURRENTLY!!

I have infact started depleting my carbs and am currently sitting on 60g.....I AM WELL HUNGRY!! BUT.....the changes and response my body has had to a couple of diet tweaks ive made over the last couple of weeks has been incredible!! Seeing instant results is pretty much the power behind the train at the moment!! Plus my beloved NEROBURN!! :-)
I now am seeing 1,2,3,4,5,6 abs!! The bottom two are of course covered by abit of fat still BUT alot can happen in 3weeks and I have faith in myself that I will get there!! This week something has just snapped inside and despite feeling tired and abit under the weather I made it my mission to complete every single session at 100%!! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED :-)

This next week I will be mainly focusing my energy into diet/training of course and monitoring my bodies movments....every couple of days. AND organising the fun part....all the girly stuff!! I am going to book in for my much needed hair cut!! haha!! Nails, makeup shopping etc...
Ill also be getting my tanning products in order and jewlery etc...
I think if I am organnisied come peak week i wont have as much to worry about!!

SO..PEAK WEEK!! My peak week is seeming to be abit different from what many other competitors do and thats fine...no worries there although it does make me abit nervous!! But at the end of the day why change what has worked for me thus far? Makes sense yeah?! YEAH!! :-)
So tonight im sitting down and going over my peak weeks numbers, training, and my 24hr before showtime nutriion. I am hoping i can get it right but if not i know i have help there when i need :-)

Anywhos currently getting just abit excitted!! But thats all for now....OH one other thing.....

65KG!!!! Egding closer and closer now!!!!

Sueskee figure OVER & OUT!! Happy training all xo

It's been a while...WOOPS!!!!

SOOOO...I just checked when I last blogged AT 10WEEKS OUT! woops!!!!
We are now at the 5.5week out point and feeling a little drained but OK!!!! People keep telling me that from here on in it just gets harder and harder but I'm really not having any of it LOL i am feeling great currenty and happy with where im at! :-) I have days where i do feel a little bit drained etc....but thats due to the fact I keep forgetting to take my multis and irons tablets BUT i am now double dosing those both daily to get me up to speed because things are about to change up a little for me on the diet/training front!
IT'S TIME TO CUT THE FAT! this is something that i bealive shouldn't be cut back on until the final 5/4 weeks of a prep....just my personal opinion because these good fats are ESSENTIAL! When i do decide to make that cut it will be from 40g down to 30g so no biggie! I already know what ill be taking out and lowering etc....
And i must apologise if this blog seems all over the place because my mind is racing faster then the cars on a v8 track hehe SO many things to plan these next few weeks.....who would have thought id make it this far?! WELL...i knew i would. Ive always had it in me just this time around i am healthier and more clued on with my nutrition!
Like ive said time and time again not being able to go thru with competing last year REALLY WAS a blessing in disguise :-) and in turn i am glad i had to wait it out because in a strange sorta way its brought thru strentghts into this prep that my last one had not seen!
Compared to last time my slip ups have been minimal and i even experimented with 'cheat meals' from 15-10weeks out & the results were surprising to say the least LOL. BUT i knew i had to be mindful of them because a whole weeks hardwork can infact be ruiened in one sitting this is why my cheat meals were made by me and still calculated up etc....so alot of people called me crazy because to them it still seemed as though i was 'on a diet' for example one cheat i had was;
100g lean pork (fat removed)
150g sweet potato
50g pineapple
50g green apple
50g red caps
75g balsamic long grain rice
28g cantonese pork simmer sauce

THEN DESSERT

60g cheerios
10g almonds
1 yoplait caramal pie yogurt
60g banana
Nutella snack pack

THERES AN EXAMPLE OF MY CHEAT MEALS! :-) (keep in mind these DID stop at 10wks out)

Nothing major and nothing that threw me off the scales hehe because im now at 66.9KG! BA BA BOOM! haha sorry bit excited!

I honestly could not have gotten this far without my amazing friends who support me 110% ya'll know who you are! AND my amazing man Jai who may not understand what it is im doing (his not at all a gym junkie!) BUT he has been a real life superman thru-out the time ive been prepping and has just been there when i did need a shoulder to cry on or the near misses of slicing my hand open with tuna cans....his been there to calm me down and tell me everything WILL BE ok PLUS he opens the cans for me now haha :-)
I think im exstremely lucky to have someone so understanding!
One thing i am exstremely looking forward to after comp life is going on our dinner dates again AND a much needed holiday im planning on taking 2-3weeks off completely from the weights room....because these past 15weeks my body has been thru ALOT and i think a period of rest after comp will be important in letting it recover before i begin my off-season :-)

At the moment my main aim is conditioning my body to its best possible condition. Tightening everything up and bringing my goddam legs in line with my shoulders haha. The next few weeks there will be lots of sprinting! I'm going to aim that all my HIIT sessions are ither hill sprints or flat sprints! Because i know thats what ive gotta do! Thats what works best for my body!

This past week i have been quite emotional admittedly but it is mainly because shitty weather gets me down....but today the sun is out and i am feeling MUCH better already so i know it was just the rain that got me so down ALSO i feel i have been quite anti-social this time round...due to the fact last time i tried being social i always seemed to end up at max brenner! LOL....so im just avoiding it in all honestly...which kills me inside because i havnt seen my godkiddies since before christmas nor my best friend sarah so it does get me down but i know ill be seeing them all soon VERY SOON :-)
I think this past Saturday was my lowest point in prep so far....i woke up went to do my hill climbs the sun was out all morning with abit of cloud so all looked well THEN BAM about 7minutes into the hill climbs i got heavily rained on! So it basically instantly put me in a bad mood!
Then i got a call saying i had to take my grandma up for her eye appointment which i was fine with....until we got there and she got the date and time of it mixed up.....WHICH IN TURN meant i missed my chest/arms session that day :(
By the time i finished my moderate later that night i was in tears...im quite sure i was in tears during it as well! I honestly felt like my spark had went out and to be honest i wanted to quit....but i knew i couldnt let a bad day get to me like that!
THEN i keept eyeing off my easter egg stash (see i made the mistake of not hiding them....there now hidden!) easter egg.....after easter egg. About 4-5 to be exact enough that i was quite sick afterwards anyways! That was my first major slip up of this prep and im going to make it my last.....they didnt even taste that great to me and i didnt enjoy them AT ALL. they just put me in an even more emotional mood! pretty much cried myself to sleep that night....thankgod my superman saved me!

THAT IS BEHIND ME NOW....and im glad! :-) my focus is back ON!
and im ready to rock it for the next 5.5weeks my diet has been spot on all this week as well as training and im feeling fab!! so as you can see there have been ALOT of ups AND downs this prep so far and i will try to keep you all posted with where im at! i better be off though before i burn my pumpkin chippies mmmmmmmm LOVE refeed days!
hope everyone is out there making their dreams a reality! xo MWAH! xo.

HALF WAY POINT!!!!

Right so first of all 68.9KG a loss of 600grams this week and I'M VERY HAPPY about that losss! :-)
We are now at the half way point and from here on it it's really time to knuckle down and work my now little butt off! haha!

This past week has been my busiest one during prep so far and i've had to make some tough calls reguarding training & diet! Firstly diet because of working every day this week.....it has left my body AND mind absoulutly exhausted! So i figured i'd start having 3-4 black coffees a day which also meant little sleep at night! DOH! i think having THAT MUCH caffine was a bad choice! I become so emotional yesterday that during and after my moderate i was in tears and during the session i found myself stumbling around and i just wasnt my usaul bouncy self! Then there were a few small arguments with my father and his the kind of dad whos stil stuck in the year he was born....theres no point even trying to explain to him what is it im doing with my body. he just wont get it. and sometimes i think he doesnt want to ither :( so after argument number 1. tears. argument 2. tears. arument 3......i packed a few things and just got out of the house for abit! i hope at least deep down his proud of me and my achievments so far I SURE AS HELL AM!
I feel ive had it really lucky this time round in prep reguarding my drop in weight etc. ive really felt like ive been in cruise control! but now that i am half way its time to start thinking about my next move although while my weight is still dropping on the scales i will not be touching my food numbers....ill hold off any changes for a week or 2!
Because i was so busy this week i missed a weights session and i know that is a terrible excuse and really theres no excuse for it but ive put it behind me. like anything else bad that happens im just putting it behind me so i can continue to keep moving forward!

A few people have mentioned to me thru my prep about how honest im being etc. the reason why i tell the world EVERYTHING is because if i lied to you about my drops in weight or having a good training/diet week then in turn im lying to myself. If im honest with everyone then im honest with myself! Lying about how im going will not see me thru to the stage, being honest will! I'm just trying to keep things as real as possible!

I'm finding this week im experiecning some extreme doms! my hammys feel like somebody has torn out all the muscle and tried to sew it all back in! hahaha! but its a pain we all love deep down! and out of all my body parts i think i do like my legs//bum the best! (i hope that did not sound stuck up! lol) i just like the feeling i get training them! Plus this time round we are carrying more muscle which is the added bonus!

So on todays agenda i have my HIIT session where ill be tackling my fav! HILL SPRINTS! its not the nicest day to be out and sprinting but i dont care im just to happy!
Then later on i get to spend the rest of the day with Jai and this probly explains my happiness! its been a few days since ive seen him and im just excited for date night I ALWAYS AM. im a big girly girl in that sense i just like getting dressed up and out of my sweaty gym clothes for a change! :-)
Anywhos enough of my blabbering on i hope everyone has had an awesome weekend and i'll leave you with this.......
xo.

ALMOST HALF WAY! 10.5weeks out!

WELL SH#T!!!! just looking at my very first progress pictures i took before i even started my comp prep to where i am now WOW. and then comparing my progress pictures to the ones at 11weeks out last year....DOUBLE WOW! I have come a long way! Not only am I carrying more muscle this time around....a majority of the time I don't actully feel like I'm dieting :-)
The way I decide what foods I get and how much is all calulated and subtracted on this smart little food database program i use. IT'S MY LIFE SAVER! It's great because on those days where im experiencing 'comp brain' it does the work for me....almost! haha

So far this week i havnt had any emotional days (touch wood) i have been feeling great actully :-) and once again a comparision to 11weeks out last prep where my health was getting abit worse for wear and crying after every single workout.....YEAH im in cruise control at the moment i guess you could say!
My weight is still dropping and i havnt added any changes this week and will be trying to hold off any carb drops for a week or two. I don't want to be one of those competitiors that are on 0 carbs from 8 or so weeks out doing an excessive amount of cardio! It's all about trying to enjoy this journey as well! And I have so far :-)
I read other figure girls blogs alot of the time because I like being inspired by everyones journey because their all so different! But at the end of the day my journey is my journey and im honestly happy with where im at! I'm finding prep so much easier this time around...i'm still emotional and i have my moments i just have a better way of handling them i guess. I find i have an amazing support system SO THANKYOU ALL! :-)
I did however go abit nuts last monday night i guess this is where i let emotion take over and we lost control for abit! i ended up having a cheat meal of grilled fish, deep fried sweet potato chips and a scoop of strawberry cheesecake icecream! ARH! but ive put it behind me now as i feel in an ironic twisted way thats what will keep me going to the stage, all the way! What i mean s i think its best i got it out of my system at 11weeks out rather then do that sort of thing at 2-4weeks out where my body just wouldn't recognise that carb sorce! So whats done is done and whats important is how im currently feeling which is fantastic! I am still yet to see my body 2 abs but i hear that some dont see theirs until 2-4weeks out so im trying not to worry about that! haha.
I think when i talk to some competitors or PT's or you know those other so called 'professionals' who think they know it all lol. I think some are abit shocked or digusted in what i actully include in my competition diet! They hear the word nutella come from my mouth as if it was said by the devil! Eyes roll and im then told im doing it all wrong! haha i really just dont listen/care. We all have a different approch to a competition diet and mine benefets my body the best! So ill let people make their judgments because it's very likely i could be on stage beside them one day looking EVEN BETTER and still having had my 20g of nutella on 2rice cakes 2x per week! And i say that in a non-stuck up way BTW!

I think maybe because it's almost half way or i dunno but ive started thinking now of what my plan of action will be after comp life. When i had to pull out last year never had i been more miserable in my life. Having nothing to focus on....or so thats how it felt. Moutains of food and kilos later I WAS MISERABLE! i never want to feel that way again and lets face it after comp life it is likely i will gain most weight back but id like or hope to not go any further then 72kg! Last time I got to 80kg.....i felt like the biggest blimp haha. So plan of action, what is it? Welll im unsure yet but i do know i will continue with my macros of course and most likly have 1-2 cheat meals per week. I dont wnat to take food for granted ever again! Im trying not to think about it to much atm though because of course my main focus is competing in may! So we'll tackle post comp stuff when its time! Anywhos thats it for about now! I hoppe everyone is having an amazing week! HAPPY TRAINING ALL! xo.

A polished week (almost!!)

TIme is just slipping on by....is it not?!

12weeks out now!
The past week saw a massive drop of 1.7 kg and YES i am proud of my efforts and acheivments this week....a polished week right? WRONG! this week i saw myself 'experiment' a little which is fine but my cravings ended up getting the better of me and tuesday night i had a small slice of vinetta!! DOH! other then that minor slip up all is good on the sueskee figure diet front lol.
I did recieve awful news of a close friend of mine passing away on thursday which sent me into an emotional meltdown :( although i wore my gameface from the moment i found out...behind closed doors i was a blubberi.ng mess!! its never nice to lose a friend or loved one and no matter how strong you may be sometimes you've just got to accept its O.K to have a cry!! otherwise the emotion just builds up over time and when it does eventully gets released god help whoever is around for that tidal wave!!
Im all to aware this is sonething i do....something i need to work on. mentally its not healthy to have like 5different kinds of emotion locked up together lol. its like grouping together a volcano, earthquake and tornato together!

training has been going well and its nice to see the changes in my body but i am starting to get some moments where i question myself like 'why are you doing this blahblahblah...'
im doing this for me i feel like this is something im good at and i want to experience that whole new level of training and nutrition. im doing it also because so many people told me a flat out NO. that it would be impossible for me to get to the stage....someyhing im still told even at 12weeks out!! im a stubborn girl....who is strong willed and determined and even though i face obsticles in reguards to my health and while i do risk it by doing what im doing....my aim is to smash through these obsticles and come out a better and healthier person!! at the end of the day we are given one life. so why not give it everything you've got and test your limits everyday until you finally push past and acheive whate er goal you have set! anywhos ill stop chewing poeples ears off now lol i hope everyone has an awesome training week and stays safe! mwah! xo

13weeks out!!

so tomorrow sees in 13weeks out from stage and im currently freaking out a little but i think its much to do with the week ive had! problems just seem to find their way to me!!

to start off i was having a fantastic week i had dropped my carbs by 10grams and my body has responded well to that....even though the 10grams came from the curry sauce i was using in one of my meals lol.
so i dont really notice the drop....but the body sure does!! at the moment we are sitting on 71.1kg so this week so far a loss of 700grams....which im happy with ALTHOUGH, this loss may have been much more if i had polished off all my sessions for the week!
right now im overwhelmed with emotion and dosed to my eyeballs on antibiotics and dynatapp. this is where the problems found me in week 7. by wensday this week i had fallen quite ill with what i thought was just a flu but after a visit to the doctor turns out its tonsilitis :( ive had tonsilitis 2-3times before all of which ive ended up in hospital because i tbought id be fine to run about likr a mad duck! so because the last thing i need and i just cant afford to end up hospitalized at this point in prep....this is why ive had to back away from about 4 of my sessions this week and its really affected me :( ive been so down about it that i thought about pulling the plug on the whole thing! then i remembered why i started.....

i started this journey for ME to prove to myself that I CAN do whatever i set my sigjts on, to prove to those who have told me 'i cant'. to be the best possible me :-)

another problem did find me however thru the week....and its put me off using mascara for life!! LOL.
a bit of my mascara brush broke off and got itself caught under my eyelid but at the time i didnt notice....i only noticed by wensday when it felt red and puffy and it was like someone had dimmed the lights a few notches!! so after a trip to the eye doc to clean my eye oht and pry out this lazh sized piece of brush i now almost have full sight in my right eye again!!

later today i have a hiit session to do providing im up to it im quite sick as ive said and this is not somthing to play around with......my main focus at the moment is my health and getting back to 110%..and hitting my macro targets spot on each and everyday! even tho i dont really feel like eating,anything at the moment........its quite painful! but i know if i dont its going to screw up all my hard work! so im force feeding myself lol.

anyways thats enough of my complaining for one day!! im sure whoever does  take time to read my blogs is over it lol sorry!!
anywhos happy saturday all and have a healthy n safe weekend  :) xo..

Keeping that one step ahead!

14weeks out!


I feel like I'm currently just cruising along although it is starting to feel abit like comp prep! I have been terrible this week with dropping weights on my toes and crushing my hands with them lol! I am feeling pretty bruised and battered!
OK so first things first the scale reads 71.8kg a 300g loss....not a big loss but I am noticing a pattern in my bodies losses and I need to be happy with this loss even though it's small I have been consistant in my loss's and I still have 14weeks to go! So theres certainly no need to panic! I mean lets face it the loss probaly would have been bigger but then came in valentines day! I did decide to have my cheat meal for it and I'm happy to say I didn't go entiry crazy! I had my salt n peppa calarmari but instead of max brenner I settled for a scoop of cold rock (cake batter flavor) icecream BUT THEN smashed into it a caromelo koala, flake, cookie dough and brownie! SO dessert was a little bit crazy! I did feel quite sick after that! But whats done is done and I havn't let the headgames affect me about having a cheat because I planned it into my week and on the tuesday I lowered my fats & carbs and had mainly protein based meals haha lots of scrambled eggwhites that day!
I know the whole opinon on a cheat meal is fairly divided but I did what was right for me, i wanted to celebrate v-day with my man and it was just SO nice to be able to go out for dinner with him somthing i've always enjoyed and its not just the food side of it...but getting dressed up for him etc, guess im abit of a girly girl with all that sorta stuff hehe :-) and tonight were off to for a movie day NO CHEAT MEAL haha just the movies haha ill ither be eating my meal beforehand or taking it with me! I think this week I have realised I need to try and include him more because even though prep at the end of the day comes first, i cant leave him out of the loop because lately we havnt been going out together its just been spending time at home....and sometimes its just nice to get out of the house! So bring on more movie dates! I've even tried to make him feel more included in whats going on by cooking him dinner (the same dinner i have) some nights so at least we can eat at the same etc..

Training has been good once again this week, im pretty much enjoying it all :-) the weather has warmed up abit though hich does make my HIIT sessions that bit more intense!

So coming into week 7.....there are some things im thinking of changing a little but nothing major just a slight carb drop! I just want to keep that one step ahead! Another reason why I allowed myself a 20week prep....i just want that time so i can be ready! At this stage I am VERY happy with how I'm travelling along like ive previously said this is how i looked at 8weeks out last year! I have never had this sort of ab definition! So yay for me!

But of course THERES A LONG WAY TO GO!
Also week 7 I will be adding an extra 5mintues to my HIIT cooldowns....it's not much but the body won't recognise that extra 5 so it's forced to work that bit harder! Like I said I'm trying to stay that one step ahead! I'm giving this everything I've got! Hope everybody has an awesome week ahead! HAPPY TRAINING! :-) xo.